We're back on the playground

The longer I am here, the more I realize how backwards this country's office politic is. One doesn't need to be fluent in German to understand the not-so-subtle subtext here.

It's like the US in the 70's: women are here as eye candy. Angry, frustrated men run the show, and whenever threatened they lash out. Name calling, poor work, bad vibes. It's an old story, but Germany forgot to read up on it, and write a rebuttal.

In one office I know, people yell and call each other names. (!) This misbehavior is considered acceptable because this country still thrives on a culture of fear, and this agency cultivates it. The management yells, the employees quiver. Fear of getting involved, fear of making a stand, fear of standing out. There is no punishment, no reprisal for bad office behavior; people are too afraid complain. I've heard that those who stand up for themselves find themselves the recipient of the equivalent of office terrorism: bad reviews, undermining comments to clients & colleagues, etc. Eventually they resign.

This month alone, 4 people have quit the office. This an agency of 60 people. And I know of at least 4 more who are contemplating offers. Management it seems, is incapable of making a connection between the poor attrition rate and the ill office culture that exists. It's a wild cycle, one that shouldn't exist in such a culturally rich, intelligent place.

People make fun of how politically correct the US is. But I think this is one of those things that America is doing right. There are rules (equality), and there are consequences to breaking the rules (lose your job, get a reprimand, etc.).

Poor Heiko and Heika, this is their reality.

Nice package!

I was not home when Herr Deutsche Post delivered my Alice package so he dropped it off at the corner hardware store for me to pick up. So kind and thoughtful! And I didn't even have to go to the post office to pick it up.

Go ask Alice

4 weeks after signing up for a new telephone service and DSL, I still do not have the account set up.

Apparently this is normal in Germany.

I am going with 'Alice,' an alternative provider because I will be able to have an open contract that I can cancel at any time; Telekom requires 2 year contract. But whether you go with Telekom or any other service provider, the wait, the unbearable wait is still the same.

But isn't Alice just so pretty?

Meanwhile, I clandestinely check my personal emails at work (hey, by the way, why don't you drop me a line?), and post things here and there.

And I still can't call my friends and family. I miss you guys!

Linked in

I just added some links to other expat blogs that I've found in Germany. They are a bit simple, but then again, so is mine. I don't agree with all of their observations and comments, but it is interesting to see how they are faring in this Teutonic land.

Ordnungsamt

I have never felt like someone who breaks the laws, or who fears the police. In the US, I usually felt that the police were here to 'protect and serve.' The meter maids are just pains in the asses, but I don't fear them.

But here in Berlin, I am scared.

There are fine ladies and men who rule the parking meters in Germany, and they are called Ordnungsamt. These are the people that get you if you violate order or rules on the German streets. And as you guessed it, there are a lot of rules on the German streets. And everday, I violate a couple.

I am still a newbie here, so I will cover just one area where I come in contact with the Ordnungsamt, and where I seem to constantly break the laws: in the context of my dog.

- All dog owners must pay a Hundesteuer which is an (annual?) dog tax. This can be anything from 75- 120 euros for your first dog. I have been convinced by Harald, a guy from my office who has Daly the Jack Russell Terrier, not to bother with this tax. They fine you 10 euros for not paying the tax on your dog; it makes more sense to avoid paying it and to get a fine every so often I am assured.

- Dogs in Berlin can be off leash but must be within 1 meter of owner. I'm not sure if this is a real law because the friendly Ordnungsamt can give you a ticket for having your dog off leash period, I think. Once I had Diego off leash and was walking down the street talking to my friend Richard in English. Richard turned to me and said that an Ordnungsamt had just tried to approach me to give me a ticket but when he heard me speaking English he turned the other way. I looked over to see him crossing the street.

- Dogs cannot be off- leash in a park. They give you tickets for this too. Today when I got to the park, on my bike with Diego running beside me, this guy Marvin told me that I just missed the O's who would've certainly slapped a ticket on me. I think the off leash ticket might be 20 euros.

- There is a list of dogs that are considered dangerous in Germany and therefore get special laws. A pit bull or a staffordshire terrier must wear a muzzle in public after the age of 7 months. The dog can also take a strict obedience test and be exempted from wearing the muzzle. Then does the owner have to walk around with a certificate or something?

- You must pick up your dogs shit. I do this religiously, so I feel self righteous and law-abiding.

Still, I am a rule breaker and I am not proud.

But I also want a nice life for my dog, so I will put him on a leash in the city, but I will continue to let him run wild in the park where there are no people.

Show me the money

In Germany you are paid at the end of the month, not at the beginning.

And there's no 15th of the month kindness either. Money hits your account around the 27-30th of the month. But you still pay your rent at the beginning of the month.

Just wanted you to know.

What's the point of a blog?

Seriously. I should've written this earlier. What's the point of my blog?

Peter R. put it well, it's a 'diary' or maybe in grown-up terms (meaning it's no longer pink with a little gold lock and key on a purple ribbon), it's a journal.

Yeah, that's what it is. A journal of my time and experiences in Berlin (and all of the other places I will be visiting). And since I think alot, and imagine a lot, and eat a lot wherever I am, I'll stick that in too since that's part of my time here in Berlin. I also tend to travel a lot, both for work and for pleasure, so I'll include that too. I think it is more about a TIME than a place, really. Know what I mean?

When I think about a foreigner's impression of a new country, I can't help but be a bit annoyed at the trite observations I've heard (and possibly said) before:

'They drive on the wrong side of the street there!'

'ooh I just love their cute accents. It makes them all seem so hot!'

'Did you know they EAT dogs there?!'

'Everyone has a gun in New York City'

You get the picture. I am going to try to keep the stupid, obvious stuff to a minimum, and try and write about the stuff that I didn't know and that I don't think my friends or family might know or have experienced or observed. Sure, the exchange student who spent their Junior year in Munich might think 'no duh,' please remember that the first time I came to Germany was in 2001, and that I have never studied German culture or language. So I'm a virgin. A German virgin.

Speaking of virgins, I probably won't discuss sex here. Or drugs. Maybe other people having sex and doing drugs (separately, or at the same time, or together with each other). But I won't talk about my own love life or the amazing ____ (insert drug/drink/23 year old's name here) I had last night. That's not for your consumption, dear reader.

Some people use Jesus as a guide (WWJD?) for how to conduct their lives. Here, that's irrelevant. I don't think Jesus would've moved to Berlin in his 30's. He probably would've been married to his high school sweetheart with 2 kids already. And I don't think he would tell me what he'd do in the first place. He'd probably say 'you're Jewish? You don't LOOK Jewish!' and get distracted and off the subject and then I'd never find out what he would do in my situation anyway.

I remember reading David Sedaris' Me Talk Pretty One Day and finding it kind of annoying. I loved all of his other books, but this one, about his experiences in France with his boyfriend bugged me. His observations of the French and learning French just didn't strike me as cute, or new or funny. I had lived in Paris for awhile, and had a wonderful relationship with a Parisian for several years, and fancied myself a Francophile. I had learned to speak French really well and had made French friends. I just found the book, comment dit-on? trite. So that's the filter I am going to use. If it seems too David Sedaris circa MTPOD, I will not publish it. Please keep me to this.

So that's the gist of it. That's my reason for blogging. Sometime soon I'll think of a mission statement, a goal, an RTB, a benefit, a role, and a target group for this thing.