Self Portrait

In front of Checkpoint Charlie before a delicious Italian meal at Sale e Tabbachi with Romy and her German boyfriend Martin who were visiting from Los Angeles. Diego moved and we got this blurry picture.

We didn't visit the museum.

Am waiting for the summer to end and for Berlin to quiet down before I visit the big tourist sites. In the meantime, I am trying to socialize more and get things sorted out with my apartment on weekends.

Working dog

Here is a snap of Diego doing what he does best: being cute.

He loves his little modest bed from Target and he sleeps in it under my desk at work.

Sometimes I stick my feet on him to see how long he will tolerate it. It's funny because I always tire of it before he does.

Sunrise, sunset

It was a humid day in Berlin yesterday, replete with rainshowers and sticky sticky clothes and hair.

But it cooled down and cleared up by evening, and when I went out to meet some friends for dinner, the clouds to the north (I think) were bursting with pink and salmon and gray.

Nice package!

I was not home when Herr Deutsche Post delivered my Alice package so he dropped it off at the corner hardware store for me to pick up. So kind and thoughtful! And I didn't even have to go to the post office to pick it up.

Go ask Alice

4 weeks after signing up for a new telephone service and DSL, I still do not have the account set up.

Apparently this is normal in Germany.

I am going with 'Alice,' an alternative provider because I will be able to have an open contract that I can cancel at any time; Telekom requires 2 year contract. But whether you go with Telekom or any other service provider, the wait, the unbearable wait is still the same.

But isn't Alice just so pretty?

Meanwhile, I clandestinely check my personal emails at work (hey, by the way, why don't you drop me a line?), and post things here and there.

And I still can't call my friends and family. I miss you guys!

Linked in

I just added some links to other expat blogs that I've found in Germany. They are a bit simple, but then again, so is mine. I don't agree with all of their observations and comments, but it is interesting to see how they are faring in this Teutonic land.

Fahrkarten, bitte- or breaking the law

Public transportation is too easy to cheat here in Germany. There are no turnstiles like in London, Paris and NYC. It's based on the honor system.

You buy a ticket for 2,10 euros, you stamp it, you keep it with you. Simple.

But sometimes you are walking up the stairs with your computer, dog and bike, and your train arrives. And so you run as fast as you can onto the train. Oops, you forget to buy (or stamp) your ticket.

And sometimes you make it to your destination without and trouble.

And sometimes, plain clothed (!) policemen catch you. And they have no mercy. They make you pay the ticket violation right there. And if you don't have cash on you, they have been known to take you to the ATM (EC Card) to get cashola. Or they ask for your address if all else fails.

Claiming ignorance because you are a foreigner works rarely, if ever. Most of us really just didn't know how to pay for a ticket. But honestly, you do kind of know that there must be a system to pay for public transport, there always is.

I have experienced the dreaded 'farhkarten, bitte' inspectors on the S-Bahn. I really had no idea what they were doing. All of a sudden, people started flashing these cards to these guys; I just thought they were strange. They asked for my ticket in English and then I looked, and looked, and looked in my pockets and bag and everywhere, stalling just enough for us to reach the Hautbahnhof and to jump out with Diego. They were distracted by another person with a dog who also did not have a ticket, so I went downstairs to the bank, got some money (from my US account) and bought the 2,10 ticket.

That anxious interaction with the Inspectors is not worth it. Now, I try and buy a ticket each time I get on public transport.

That's my contribution to the German public transport system. It's the least I can do.

Ordnungsamt

I have never felt like someone who breaks the laws, or who fears the police. In the US, I usually felt that the police were here to 'protect and serve.' The meter maids are just pains in the asses, but I don't fear them.

But here in Berlin, I am scared.

There are fine ladies and men who rule the parking meters in Germany, and they are called Ordnungsamt. These are the people that get you if you violate order or rules on the German streets. And as you guessed it, there are a lot of rules on the German streets. And everday, I violate a couple.

I am still a newbie here, so I will cover just one area where I come in contact with the Ordnungsamt, and where I seem to constantly break the laws: in the context of my dog.

- All dog owners must pay a Hundesteuer which is an (annual?) dog tax. This can be anything from 75- 120 euros for your first dog. I have been convinced by Harald, a guy from my office who has Daly the Jack Russell Terrier, not to bother with this tax. They fine you 10 euros for not paying the tax on your dog; it makes more sense to avoid paying it and to get a fine every so often I am assured.

- Dogs in Berlin can be off leash but must be within 1 meter of owner. I'm not sure if this is a real law because the friendly Ordnungsamt can give you a ticket for having your dog off leash period, I think. Once I had Diego off leash and was walking down the street talking to my friend Richard in English. Richard turned to me and said that an Ordnungsamt had just tried to approach me to give me a ticket but when he heard me speaking English he turned the other way. I looked over to see him crossing the street.

- Dogs cannot be off- leash in a park. They give you tickets for this too. Today when I got to the park, on my bike with Diego running beside me, this guy Marvin told me that I just missed the O's who would've certainly slapped a ticket on me. I think the off leash ticket might be 20 euros.

- There is a list of dogs that are considered dangerous in Germany and therefore get special laws. A pit bull or a staffordshire terrier must wear a muzzle in public after the age of 7 months. The dog can also take a strict obedience test and be exempted from wearing the muzzle. Then does the owner have to walk around with a certificate or something?

- You must pick up your dogs shit. I do this religiously, so I feel self righteous and law-abiding.

Still, I am a rule breaker and I am not proud.

But I also want a nice life for my dog, so I will put him on a leash in the city, but I will continue to let him run wild in the park where there are no people.

Show me the money

In Germany you are paid at the end of the month, not at the beginning.

And there's no 15th of the month kindness either. Money hits your account around the 27-30th of the month. But you still pay your rent at the beginning of the month.

Just wanted you to know.

Schlactensee

On Sunday, I went back to the Schlactensee with Diego and some friends. The lake is so close to Berlin, you can take the S-Bahn there. But it feels very far from the city.

There is an dirt path around the lake which is surrounded by trees. Through the trees, you can see some of the big houses of Grunewald; but mostly if feels very quiet and isolated.

People are running, walking and biking around the lake, and swimming across it too. It's not too crowded.

I took a dip, and the water was chilly, but it was a nice warm summer day, so it was refreshing.

Peter threw the tennis ball, and Diego jumped into the lake to retrieve it. The picture here is of Peter's wife Gabriela and their kids Phillip and Maria laughing as Diego doggy paddles his way back to shore. He did this a million times.

Later we ate wursts with kraut and drank apfelschorle, an apple juice spritzer. Very German indeed, although only one of us was 100% deutsch.

The Wunderbar Chocolate Bar

I love the Wunderbar.

This is a caramel candy bar, stuffed with crispy, crunchy and soft peanut butter, and dipped into smooth chocolate. You bite into the bar, and the caramel seals itself around the peanut crispiness, so it's like a caramel/peanutbutter ravioli. The smoothness of the chocolate and caramel is contrasted with the Butterfingerlike crispiness and creamy peanutbutter.

Want one? I'll bet they sell them in UK sweet shops in the US and also in Canada.

Moving on

The movers say that my stuff left California on July 31; two months after they packed it up and promised it would be on its way to Europe.

I've been told that it will all arrive in Berlin in mid August. Yeah right. Right now my container is probably at some truck stop, and the driver is smoking a Kent on my couch after eating some greasy diner food. I'm lucky if it arrives before September.

Never believe what the moving company tells you. This industry should be better regulated. I have moved so often, and each time I can list the number of ways the company has screwed up the move: damaged items, underestimated tonnage, extra fees at receiving end, drunk moving guys... And I have friends who tell the same stories.

So how will my items travel? To the east coast and then to Hamburg? To Long Beach and then through the Panama Canal and then to Hamburg? I'm not sure.

And then how long will it sit in Customs? Will they charge me extra import tariffs?

And will my things arrive broken? scratched? mildewed? Will the Germans make me pay additional fees not covered in the US moving fees? Will they put the legs on the chairs and tables they so carefully removed and assured me would all arrive in the delivery? Will they unpack the stuff they wrapped and wrapped and take away the boxes and paper like they promised?

I miss my bed. I miss my kitchen stuff, my clothes. I want to be settled at home.

The Skinny

I just don't like skinny jeans on guys. You see a lot of German dudes wearing them here. I hate when they wear them to the office.

I remember seeing a lot of dudes in Australia wearing them too. That shocked me. They are so macho, those Aussies, and then they put on the super slim fit jean and their machismo goes straight out the window.

I just wanted to set things straight on the skinny jean.

Yuck

On Wednesday I ate dinner at the hotel-restaurant on the corner. The resto is really charming, and has a great outdoor terrace during the summer. Since I have nothing in my kitchen besides cabinets, a stove and a fridge (no utensils, no plates, no pots) I end up eating out a lot.

I've had bulletten which are really delicious Berlin specialty. They are simple fried meatballs often served with simple potatoes and a salad; they are really tasty.

But this time, I ordered Konigsberger Klopse thinking it was bulletten and was surprised to receive a boiled meatball in a creamy caper sauce with overcooked potatoes.

Needless to say, my stomach has still not recovered.

Look at the Tiger!

Happy Birthday Al!

Brad and Ange in Berlin

So apparently it's confirmed: Brad and Angelina are moving to Berlin. I read that they bought a house on a little peninsula island called Schwanenwerder near Potsdam. They want to move to Berlin because it is quiet and devoid of paparazzi...for now.

Rumor has it that they also bought a house designed by their architect friends in Berlin Mitte. Apparently it sits atop an anonymous building and is speculated to be located right around the corner from where I live. I checked on the address that someone gossiped to me and found this horrible east German building. To protect their privacy and mine, I will not publish the street name & number.

Could it be true? Brad and Ange and the brood in the neighborhood? I will invite them over for drinks. Their kids can play with Diego while we talk about learning German and the terrible food at the restaurant around the corner.

Lost in Translation

As you know, I do not speak German. But I work and live in Germany, so there are times where I need the help of a translation tool. I use Babelfish which offers translations from/to many languages.

Everyday I receive emails that are sent to everyone at work. At my old agency these 'public mailings' would contain emails where people were asking for yesterday's Wall Street Journal, trying to sell an Ikea couch, or letting everyone know that the parking cops were marking tires on the main street outside the office.

Here the 'public emails' are much the same. Here is an example of an email I received and translated using Babelfish. The translations are far from perfect and often pretty hilarious, but I usually get the gist of what they are saying. Do you?

'Holgers small sister (a refrigerator) contained today and only today all your food, which does not weggeschmissen is. Since we the other refrigerator times abtauen must. For the future it remains however thereby: No food into the beverage refrigerators. Oh and again a small note: Our refrigerator was times again super dirty and it is absolutely eklig to remove smudgy sticky Dressinglachen. Watches out please for your things better and should run out nevertheless once somewhat from you, please it makes away!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is only fair if for everyone its own dirt distant.'

huh?